funny little men

Hey lil bro,

Ok, this nerd business is not that bad.. In a week, ive managed to clean my room, organize my books, cook a gross cabbage paratal thingamajing, wrote out a grocery list, bought half of my sch books, look up universities which offer honours within my intellectual ability (which is pretty darn low may i add) anddd ive watched 3 online curry cookin shows and am gonna attempt makin eggplant curry tomorrow! ALSO, i started reading and found a little book deepthi bought me last year by Allan & Bambara tittled 'men dont have a clue'. lol

aite these cracked me up..

1) Men dont get lost, they discover alternate destinations
2) Why dont men fake orgasm?
Ans: Because no man would pull faces like that on purpose!
3)Having a sense of humour as a woman doesnt mean you tell jokes. It means you laugh at his jokes!
4)Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years. He would'nt ask for directions either.
5)Most men only have a shopping attention span of about 30 minutes. If you take him shopping do it near a large hardware store so that he can road-test the latest double electric reverse router saw which would let him drill perfectly round tiny holes upside down in a plaster ceiling without a ladder (should the need arise)
6)In public rest-rooms men always look silently directly in front and never talk to strangers. Men's motto is 'death before eye contact'
7) If washing machines came with a remote control men would prolly consider doin laundry! (hey i would too! lol)
8) since roman times, the size of a man's nose has also been equated to the size of his penis but there is no research to substantiate this myth, much to Pinocchio's disappointment.
9) Why does it take 4 million male sperms to find and fertilise an egg?
ans: Now one wants to ask for directions (hahahahaha! pissa!)
10) the only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys
11) Why do men give their penis a name?
Ans: Because they dont want a complete stranger making their major decisions (And thats why we call skantha, 'pathish!', lol)
12) What can you say to a man who's just had sex?
Ans: Anything you like, he's asleep
13) what can you tell from a well-dressed man?
ans: His partner is good at picking out his clothes (you need a girlfriend rajan! hahahahahaha! kiddin kiddin)
14) To many women, it seems as if men are hardwired to buy ugly clothes for themselves and this is not far from the truth. For at least a hundred thousand years, women dressed to attract men while men have dressed to frighten away their enemies. Men would paint their faces, put bones through their noses, wear a buffalo on their head and have a rock connected to the end of their penis. So dont expect him to be able to coordinate his own clothing.
15) A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worried about the future until he gets a wife (this is for you chitu! lol)
16) it is important for a woman to understand that if she continually mothers a man, he will see her as a mother figure and respond by yelling, throwin tantrums and running away
17) men miss the finer details. A man will know every good joke his friend has told him but not be aware that his friend has split up from his wife
18) How many divya's does it take to change a light bulb?
ans: one
She just holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around her. hahahaha. oh and switch divya with mother-in-law. lol
19) If you are lost, while driving, a quick, safe emergency strategy is to tell him you urgently need to go to the toilet which will force him to stop, and preferably at a service station. While you're in the toilet, he'll have time to pretend he's buying something and to ask for directions.
20) If you insist on taking a man shopping, always ask him what he'd like to eat , give him lots of positive strokes and buy him a special treat such as chocolate. SHopping is not hardwired into the male brain, so incentives are needed (Rajan, if i ever end up with a guy who loves to shop, please suggests this to him. thanks)

wow that was long.. now i know how chain emails start. bored students, with brilliant typing skills, and a book! NICE!


geeky divi..